I Am Not Afraid

Today, I feel so defeated. It's frightful how even with the countless experience I've had in the past, it still doesn't prepare me for the dispute that comes in a relationship. Teacher has been extremely moody. Disgruntled to a point that it is truly unnerving to even talk about it. But I am truly patient and overly forgiving. Perhaps I've grown past the idea of having things my way. I've learned to compromise and think really hard before I speak. I've grown to be courageous even when I know I might fail to keep this relationship.

Teacher, if you ever read this, I want you to know that I do not expect you to understand me completely just as I never imagined I will always read you clearly. I won't be afraid if your love is not strong enough because I believe I am the one who will give you strength. I won't be afraid if our happiness melts away one day and I failed miserably to make you see past sorrow because I am the one who will make you smile again.

Ever heard of melancholy happiness? I am happy with a heavy resonance. This song speaks of my simple happiness but of course, it's an improvisation. Very typical of me.

Got ever gaduh with your boyfriend and feel like it's the end of the world or not?

(我變了 - 陶晶瑩)


Work has really stolen my private moments with myself. But it's all for the best. No one wants to live through the day with an empty stomach, parched throat and a crippled heart. Don't really have much to say at the moment except that I did promise a certain someone a little self-indulgent entertainment request. So here you go, out-of-slang mandarin song called 依赖 (Yīlài). Oh yeah, thank you for listening.

Do we actually listen when someone talks? Do you?

(依赖 - 陶晶瑩)

A Breather

Whoa! I am supposed to blog fervently but the amount of freelance jobs thrown at my face and the new found sleeping cycle has stolen my one and only source of expression. I can finally take a short breather and quickly announce that I am not dead yet. Though sometimes I really wished that dying is easier done than said. Life has been really tough on me. But what doesn't kill you only makes you a stronger prick. Yeah, so damn cliché but what to do? Have to force positive thoughts into this hard skull of mine.

Time flies when you are swamped with work and tomorrow is Mother's Day! Thank God me mummy is faraway in Phuket. Saves me the trouble of taking her out for a decent meal when I don't even have enough to feed myself. Sigh... even Maya's starving not because there's not enough food for her but she has been the fussiest eater lately. It breaks my heart when she refuse to take in the kibbles. I've been trying a variety of flavours but nothing works. Worst still, when she finally takes in a handful only to purge it all out 10 minutes later.

Okay, this is as far as I can endure. The freaking hot and humid weather is driving me up the wall. Need to run cold water over myself before I head to bed.

Do you own a dog? What do you do when his/her appetite fucks up?