Oh dear, I am finally writing again! And I believe this is the very first time I am blogging under the influence of alcohol, unconstrained and consciously feeling very, very, very lonely. Where have I been? What have I been doing? I have somewhat abandoned my private sanctuary, my only abode where I get to shout like a bitch in heat; a broken hearted Chinese faggot.
I've been hiding. Hiding from friends whom I thought would only lead me to self-distruction. I've disappeared for two weeks back in my serene home town. Seeing my newborn nephew, just a few days old with such enthusiastic limbs; kicking and flinching without the constrain of mummy's womb. Lucas have such profound eyes, barely foccussed, he reminded me greatly on the innocence of being alive. How sometimes, matters are just the way they are without allegories. Not cryptic, not difficult and doesn't fuck with the mind.
So, what really happened to me? I grew old or rather, I finally woke up feeling 34. Threw my freelancing away, locked it up somewhere inside me and took up a full-time job as an Art Director. Where will this lead me I do not know. How long can I keep this up I do not know. I only know that Maya will die on me if I do not suck it all up and fucking make ends meet.
(Pounding in my skull)
Suddenly, I just cannot fasten my thoughts on finishing this entry...
C2H5OH!! me likey! lol... i will be waiting for the to be continued post! lol... and i miss your singing! :)
ReplyDeleteI will sing soon ok? I promise, let me get used to this cycle of waking 6.30am in the morning first.... (old liao) need a lot of rest nowadays.
Deletecongrats on new job :)
ReplyDeleten welcome back.
cheers :)
HUGS! I hope I last longer than expected.
DeleteFinally! You've been missing for FAR too long! Welcome back, booze is alright just don't do drugs
ReplyDeleteFunny you mentioned, I've always been curious about drugs. But I do occasionally take sleep-inducing anti-histamines to sleep during my freelance days (hee hee)
Deletewelcome back!
ReplyDeleteJeff, you da man! HUGS!!!
DeleteI guess action speaks louder than words eh? :P
ReplyDeleteOMG... u know, I don't know how to explain this feeling but I actually don't feel so alone and bitter now that i've discovered 5 souls who actually cared enough to comment.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are really awesome.. (holding tears back) nah that'll never happen. I've stopped crying for almost 5 years now...
But seriously... I am fucking grateful for you guys!
in this circle, we keep a look out for each other whenever we can. welcome back again and hey, belated congrats for the job ya.
ReplyDeleteYeah, digitally look out for each other. The job? Fuck the damn job I say!
Deleteit's a modern cyber age blogosphere thingee... we have real friends and we have cyber friends. and sometimes they do cross and become real friends. but what is constant in both context is the human desire to support others and to seek support from others...
Deletethat, sets us apart from non-humans.
and oh, forgot the second part, ya... fuck the job! hahaha... whatever you do, just make sure you find meaning and purpose in it, else you will be very stressed by it.
Delete:-)
Yes! I can't agree more. Didchu accidently remove your lengthy comment on Dramarama? Want me to post it back? Anyway, the title's deliberate. It's a slang hee hee hee... Imma gonna spank your bubbly butt!
Deleteooo, i thought you deleted it. ha... so, it was me? really. i cannot be sure... lao le! he!
ReplyDeletes'kay consider it re-commented! :)
Deletewa! u reposted it! terima kasih ya!
Delete:-)
It was a pleasure to do so really hee hee
Delete